Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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