people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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