Non-Jews are for practice
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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