Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize