Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
