you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
