Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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