How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
