im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
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