Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize