If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
There's always time for handjobs
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Randomize
