Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
