I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
where are you?
Hypothermia
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
