I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I just found a bag of teeth...
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
