Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
