I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
