I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
