yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Randomize
