somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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