the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
