I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
