Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Randomize
