that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
