He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
