This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
