I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
zippers are such a cool invention
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
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