I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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