just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize