I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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