do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
