I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
