I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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