How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
