I need help removing her.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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