My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
