Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
