yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
