Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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