I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
