she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
