I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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