do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Randomize
