if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I currently don't understand fingers.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
