People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
