I like to think it a success when the cops are called
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
