This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize