She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
