God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
