I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
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