I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize