How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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