Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Randomize
