it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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