I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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