Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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