my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
