i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
