opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
